About cortfreeman

Writer and Comedyer.

Larry David Hires All-Bald Writing Staff For Curb Your Enthusiasm

Courtesy of HBO

The new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm will be a little different than previous seasons. Creator Larry David has reportedly hired an All-Bald writing staff for Season 11. The move shouldn’t come as a surprise, as Hollywood moves to create a more inclusive environment. We’ve seen shows like Atlanta have All-Black writing staffs, All-LGBTQ cast on Billy Eichner’s upcoming Bros, and now Larry has hired an All-Bald writing team–comprising men, women, and non-binary writers of various races. Season 11 premiers this Sunday October 24th on HBO.

Also, for the record, the all-bald writing staff is not true.

Travel Tuesday: Colmar, France

A city, no town, eh more like a village unlike any other.

Petite Venice in Colmar

Every Tuesday, I’ll be sharing photos and stories from my travels as a part of a series I’m calling Travel Tuesday. Over the past year and a half, I haven’t been able to get out and explore, so I’m taking the time to remember some of my favorite trips.

Colmar, France is one of the most beautiful and unique places I’ve visited. It reminds me of the town Belle’s little village in Beauty and the Beast. Colmar is a small quiet town that sits close to both the Germany and Switzerland borders, and their influence can’t be missed. The town is full of German architecture and cobblestone streets like you just came out of a time machine. It feels old world. Visiting places like Paris and other big cities, a lot of the locals will know English as tourism is a big part of their economy, but when we arrived in Colmar, locals no longer knew any English at all, which was a challenge we found…challenging. Now, for the record, my brother and I had each taken several years of French class. We had been preparing for this moment our entire lives…but hearing it in full speed can be a little different. We knew how to communicate, but getting toppings on our pizza was a little more difficult than expected. Heads up: Chèvre is goat’s cheese. Outside the mild embarrassment of not fully grasping the language, it was amazing to escape into local culture like this. For a few days got to live like the locals in Colmar. Hitting the village for vegetables, and enjoying wine from the vineyard in our back yard for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

My favorite part of Colmar was the section they call “Petite Venice,” or Little Venice. See? Four years of French coming in handy. It could have been the most picturesque district I’ve ever seen. Those old German buildings overlooking a river as still as glass, with patios sewn across the boardwalk we certainly couldn’t afford to eat at, it was something you’d see in a movie. Being there really showed me a lot about myself and what I enjoy about traveling. Before the trip, I was so excited for Paris, Dublin, and Amsterdam. The cities, baby! But getting to a village where nobody speaks your language is refreshing. In the big cities you’re walking past Starbucks and Subway sandwich shops, just like you would walking through downtown Chicago. But out in the country, you get a real feel for a country and its culture and people. In the future, I want to experience more places like this. Half of the fun of traveling foreign countries is taking the time to live like a local. You can borrow that by the way, it makes for a great traveling mantra. Live like a local.

Travel Tuesday: Doolin, Ireland

Downtown Doolin, Ireland

Before COVID turned all of our lives upside down, there were few things I enjoyed doing more than traveling and seeing the world. However, in March of 2020 traveling was put to an abrupt end. I wasn’t able to take a vacation until last week, when M’Lady and I spent a weekend in Vegas. I miss the highs and lows of traveling. I can’t wait to get back out there. To help scratch my travel itch, every Tuesday I will be sharing pictures and stories from some of my travels in a series I’m calling: Travel Tuesday. For the inaugural post, let’s head to one of my favorite places on this green earth: Doolin, Ireland.

If I was given a ticket to anywhere, right this minute, I’d have to pick Doolin, Ireland. Doolin is a small little village…using ‘town’ seems too big…on the west coast of Ireland in close proximity to the scenic Cliffs of Moher (Harry Potter fans may recognize it from Half-Blood Prince movie). The village has a couple pubs, a few shops, and lots of beautiful green acreage. Visiting Doolin was a bath for the soul. A trip outside of the modern day to a simpler time. We hiked the Cliffs (an amazing experience I highly recommend) and when we reached the top were able to watch dolphins swim with surfers down below. We were told this is a pretty rare sight. After this hike, we went to a pub for a pint of the black and to tell the bartender stories of our venture. We told him, “we watched surfers swim with dolphins! It was crazy!” The bartender seemed unfazed and responded, “Oh yeah, that was me surfing.” That’s how small this town is! I thought my story was cool, but he was able to top it immediately. At one point, we had to walk cliff-side merely inches from falling hundreds of feet into the rocky ocean. I was petrified, but looking back it was a one of a kind hike. Thank you, Pat Sweeney!

If you’re looking to get drunk and rowdy, Doolin isn’t for you. It’s more of a place to enjoy nature and a cup of coffee on the patio (or a Guinness, or two). However, if you’re looking for a relaxing trip where you can look at beautiful scenery, amazing food caught right there, and have conversations with friendly locals–Doolin is your destination.

Out Of The Norm

Remembering a legend

Every celebrity death hits different. Anthony Bourdain broke my heart. Kobe had me in disbelief. Now, Norm Macdonald has me…looking for a laugh.

I never got to meet Norm, nor see him live but his comedy had an enormous impact on me. Turd Ferguson will forever be one of–if not the–best SNL skit of all-time. He was also the greatest Weekend Update anchor we’ve seen, and there have been some great ones. No guest on late night shows could steal the show the way he could. If you’ve never had the chance to watch Norm Macdonald Live, his video podcast, make sure to check it out now. Norm had a way to make horrible jokes funny. Both horrible in the sense of being a bad not funny joke, and horrible as in offensive. He could tell those kind of jokes like nobody else could, with his awkward charm and self-aware questioning of what he just said. It’s a craft that many comedians can’t capture. His ability to deliver a cringey joke is what makes him one of my favorites ever. Doing my awkward interviews, on-air conversations, and street bits I always wanted to be like Norm. The segment on Live where they would read each others jokes or have guests read his jokes is unparalleled.

Not only was Norm one of the best stand-up comedians we’ve seen, but he was always funny in his movie/tv roles. His brief cameo in Deuce Bigalow European Gigolow? Classic! He had a one of a kind voice that can’t be replicated. Trust me, I’ve tried. It can’t be done. I encourage you to spend some time watching the videos and clips I’ve provided within this blog. You may feel guilty laughing occassionally…but those jokes will stick with you. He was everything I want to be as a funny guy, understated, care free, awkward, and not afraid to say what everyone else is thinking. Thank you Norm for teaching us how to be funny, even when it’s not the right time. We will all miss you.

A Red Flag For Lions Fans?

Why Brad Holmes first big move as Lions’ GM has me concerned

A new era has started in Detroit and the first few months of the new regime don’t have me optimistic. Granted, as a Lions fan, pessimism is in our nature. We’ve seen it all before. The new pair of GM Brad Holmes and Head Coach Dan Campbell have already earned national attention…for all of the wrong reasons thanks to the biting of knee caps. Despite this poor analogy and being quite under-qualified, Dan Campbell is not the epicenter of my concern with the Lions. My biggest concern lies on history repeating itself and if Holmes’ is going to display patterns we’re all too familiar with following Bob Quinn.

When Quinn and Patricia came to town, they brought the “Patriot way” with them. What worked in New England, they were going to bring to Detroit. However, as we’re now seeing with the Patriots, their “way” seems to be more “Tom Brady” than a successful culture. Tom’s now playing in the Super Bowl with his new team as the Pats are one of the least talented teams in the league with little light at the end of the tunnel. That is the Patriots Way Quintnricia brought with them. They brought in former Patriot after former Patriot to the point where it was laughable. The experiment failed miserably.

Now the Lions introduce Brad Holmes as General Manager, and his first big move? Moving Matthew Stafford to the Los Angeles Rams. Where did Brad Holmes come from before being hired in Detroit? Why, The Los Angeles Rams. Coincidence? I don’t think so. I know what you’re thinking, the Lions didn’t get fleeced in this deal. They had to move on from Stafford and got two first round picks, a third, and a potential starting quarterback in Jared Goff. That’s not a bad return, in fact, it’s pretty good and can’t complain about it. However, there are now reports that better offers were on the table from places like Carolina, who reportedly offered their first round pick (the 8th pick in this years draft) which would have given the Lions two picks in the top ten this year. Quarterback Teddy Bridgewater also might have been involved in that deal. The Washington Football Team, San Francisco 49ers, and Indianapolis Colts also had offers in; while the New York Jets and Chicago Bears made calls to test the temperature of the water.

Most fans will say in the end the Lions won the deal, and I would be one of them. However, I’m going to be hoping they start making moves with other teams instead of focusing everything on turning the Lions into the Rams. If that’s what the front office is going to try then we are doomed to repeat history. Brad Holmes will suffer the same fate as Bob Quinn. Dan Campbell is not Sean McVay. The Rams success, in my opinion, stems from McVay and the system he’s running and what he brings to the table. You can try to copy that but you’re just going to end up with a lesser version of the original product. The sequel is never as good as the original. Except for Deuce Bigalow.

How are you feeling about the start of the new regime? Reach out on twitter @CortFreeman

My 10 Favorite Iration Songs

February 21st, 2020. That’s the date of the last concert I attended before our lives were turned upside down by the pandemic. At that time Coronavirus was in the news, but I don’t remember ever feeling vulnerable or scared at the concert, and I’m a major worrier. Lucky for me, the last concert I attended was a very good show put on by Iration at Cleveland’s House Of Blues. We’re now only a couple of weeks away from the one year mark of said concert, which is absolutely mind-blowing. To mark that amount of time passed and to celebrate something I enjoy during these Groundhog Day-esque times, here are my ten favorite songs from the last band I saw before the pandemic, and one of my favorite bands, Iration.

10. Back Around

Kicking the list off at number 10 is Back Around. The studio version of this song is great but the live version provided above is as Guy Fieri would say “outta bounds.” Such an amazing way to kick off a show.

9. Fancy

Fancy from their new album Coastin’ lands at number 9 on the list. This track is different than the rest of Iration’s catalogue and I am here for it. It has a bit of a Chromeo Over Your Shoulder French Disco vibe to it. The song is the perfect play for pandemic nights in lockdown getting a buzz on with your significant other. It’s catchy and shows off some personality along with some relatable content. Down for more songs like this!

8. Time Bomb

If you’re only vaguely familiar with Iration, this is probably the song you’d recognize. It’s a hit. It likely deserves to be higher on the list due to star power alone, but as a fan I feel like it would be lazy to put it up there…and their good songs go far beyond the hits. Time Bomb is number 8.

7. Chill Out

A song that delivers the good vibes. Great song for “relaxing” with your “buds.”

6. No Letter

No Letter is one of Iration’s more serious songs and I think it does a great job pulling on the heart strings. I like when they unplug and go acoustic. Speaking of that, you should check out their acoustic album, Double Up.

5. Already Gold

Ooo this one is a vibe! Can’t help but to feel a little swag when this comes on. I think it would make a great walk-up song for baseball player. Also makes for a great bed, radio people. Already Gold rounds out the Top 5.

4. Summer Nights

Summer Nights is not to be confused with Lil Rob’s smash hit. Remember that one?! Classic. Anyways, Iration’s Summer Nights is a great play these days because it has me longing for those summer nights and being outside. I’m so ready for winter to be over.

3. Guns Out

Guns Out, yes! This is a banger. Absolutely love this song. Before I heard the song, and just saw the title I was a little put back thinking it’s like a Sun’s out Guns out beach song type thing, but thankfully it’s not. It’s actually a lot of great analogies for being in a fight with your significant other. I love wordplay and this song is full of it, and is catchy as well.

2. 2GUD2BTRU

There are supposed to be Umlauts there, and I have absolutely no clue how to do that on here. I’m sorry. I know Poosh loves them, and I have let down. Anyways, this song has really grown on me over the past year. The lyrics are a little more serious (which I love!), but the music is still full of good vibes and upbeat. The newest member of the band, Micah Brown, gets to sing on the bridge (or something I don’t know the term) and I love the way he sounds and what he brings to the band opposite of Micah Pueschel. The two compliment each other very well. I’m not going to lie this is one of those songs I’ll play back to back I love it so much.

  1. Wait And See

Finally we have reached the number one spot on my list of favorite Iration songs, and the title goes to Wait And See. It was the first song of theirs I heard, and the one that really got me to love the band and get more into them. My buddy AJ and I were in South Florida and heard it at a local watering hole and were obsessed ever since. The song brings back great memories…and is the one hit they didn’t play at the concert! But the song features a verse from a member of the band who isn’t around any more, so it’s understandable and they get a pass.

Those are my ten favorite Iration songs, right now. Of course, it’s subject to change. It actually did as I was writing it. The order above is not even the order in my notes. Go check them out and when we’re finally able to go see live music again, make sure to see Iration live. You won’t regret it. Did I leave out your favorite? Let me know on Twitter @CortFreeman

Cort’s Call: You Bet, Michigan

Bettors rejoice! Ugh why do they use -or instead of -er? Whatever. It’s time to celebrate as online sports gambling is now legal in great state of Michigan. I took some time getting familiar with some of the apps: DKSportsbook (my favorite so far, great intro deals, and easy winning exclusives), BSSportsbook (fun, inclusive, popular with the popular crowd), and BetMGM (ugh. Failed rollout. Horrible experience thus far). A lot of these sites are basically handing you free money, so you should definitely join. I won $100 last night on an over under of .5 threes made for the Pistons. In the game. .5 on a capped $50 double up! Thank you muchly, DK. BetMGM had a great deal but a lot of people are still waiting on their bonus that may or may not be coming, we’ll see? (Psst I’m one of them).

I want to kick off welcome weekend with some risk. Starting my Saturday with a 5 pick of NCAA games. I think 5 is a lot but could be worth the hit. Look out Michigan’s billion dollar jackpot winner. Here’s what I’m rolling out with today:

This is through Draft Kings who have some great options to boost the odds for new players to the site. Baylor and Oklahoma are some high powered offenses that I expect to put on a show. The rest of the spreads I find fair for the favored team. If you’re looking for a ML I’d take LSU against Kentucky but I chose to avoid it to keep my parlay at 5. Good luck!

Pick ‘Em Pickle: NFL Week 16

Teams are making a push for playoffs, and that’s going to play a big part in bets this week.

Titans @ Packers Line: GB -3.0

They want the number one seed. Best offense in football. That run defense worries me though…

Pick: GB -3.0 Green Bay 30 Tennessee 24

Falcons @ Chiefs Line: KC -10.5

Falcons have been struggling and I expect the Chiefs to keep rolling even without CEH.

Pick: KC -10.5 Kansas City 33 Falcons 20

Browns @ Jets Line: CLE -6.5

Browns are without all of their WR which just gives them more of a reason to do what they do best—-run the football.

Pick: CLE -6.5 Cleveland 23 New York 13

Colts @ Steelers Line: PIT -2.0

Steelers losing streak continues against a good Indy defense.

Pick: IND +2 Indianapolis 23 Pittsburgh 21

Bears @ Jaguars Line: CHI -8.0

Bears making the playoffs? I think so

Pick: CHI -8.0

Giants @ Ravens Line: BAL -10.0

Bet the Ravens

Pick: BAL -10.0 Baltimore 28 Giants 13

Bengals @ Texans Line: HOU -7.5

Bengals looked good last week beating the Steelers but don’t be fooled.

Pick: HOU -7.5 Houston 26 Cincinnati 13

Broncos @ Chargers Line: LAC -3.0

Rookie of the Year gets a big divisional win this time around.

Pick: LAC -3.0 Los Angeles 28 Denver 20

Panthers @ Washington Line: WFT -1.0

Ugh. Ugly football game. I don’t like betting on back up QBs.

Pick: CAR +1.0 Carolina 23 Washington 20

Eagles @ Cowboys Line: PHI -3.0

Why not? Eagles look better with Hurts under center. Cowboys remain too inconsistent.

Pick: PHI -3.0 Philadelphia 24 Dallas 17

Rams @ Seahawks Line: SEA -1.0

Rams had the Seahawks number last time around. Defense just is too good even for Russ.

Pick: LAR +1.0 Los Angeles 26 Seattle 24

Bills @ Patriots Line: BUF -7.0

Bills look like they could make a deep playoff run this year. Don’t blow it now.

Pick: BUF -7.0 Buffalo 27 New England 17

Pick ‘Em Pickle: NFL Week 15

I should start by apologizing for last week. No, not for my performance (which hey! wasn’t bad last week) but for being rushed and leaving out descriptions. You may not care, may not have even noticed. But I apologize nonetheless!

Two games being played tonight (Saturday) so I thought I’d get this out early. Is there anything better than this time of year for football fans? Feels like we get a game every night. Could you imagine? Anyways let’s get to the picks and win you some Christmas green.

Panthers @ Packers Line: GB -8.0

Packers need that number one sees and it’s in reach. Rodgers is also out for an MVP so I expect him to want to put up big numbers in the win.

Pick: GB -8.0 Packers 33 Panthers 24

Bills @ Broncos Line: BUF -5.5

I like the Broncos defense and almost picked them to beat the spread but this Bills team is rolling. I think they can win by a touchdown.

Pick: BUF -5.5 Bills 27 Broncos 20

Lions @ Titans Line: TEN -10.0

Titans strength? Running the football. Lions weakness? The run. This could get ugly, especially if Stafford doesn’t play.

Pick: TEN -10.0 Titans 28 Lions 16

Buccaneers @ Falcons Line: TB -6.5

Brady struggles against the pass rush. Falcons lack that. Matt Ryan and company would usually put up a shoot out here and compete. Not this year, though.

Pick: TB -6.5 Bucs 33 Falcons 23

49ers @ Cowboys Line: SF -3.0

Ugh. Ugly game. Who cares. 49ers win low scoring game finally ending the Cowboys sad season.

Pick: SF -3.0 49ers 23 Cowboys 17

Texans @ Colts Line: IND -7.5

Colts are looking great and primed for playoffs. Rivers isn’t making mistakes, the run game is working, and defense is one of the best in the league. Watson will need more help than he’s getting.

Pick: IND -7.5 Colts 28 Texans 20

Patriots @ Dolphins Line: MIA -3.0

Game of the week? Feel like this one is a toss up but I’m betting on the hotter team right now.

Pick: MIA -3.0 Dolphins 21 Patriots 17

Bears @ Vikings Line: MIN -3.0

Vikings are more talented but Bears defense is still something to note. Don’t love this pick but I had to take a risk and go against the spread somewhere this week!

Pick: CHI +3 Bears 23 Vikings 20

Seahawks @ Football Team Line: SEA -6.5

A lot of people liking the Football Team here. I get the Seahawks have been inconsistent even against teams they should easily beat but…Haskins was basically kicked off the team months ago! Now he’s starting. Give me the Seahawks.

Pick: SEA -6.5 Seahawks 26 Football Team 16

Jaguars @ Ravens Line: BAL -13.0

13 points is a lot but with Jackson healthy it shouldn’t be a problem.

Pick: BAL -13.0 Ravens 35 Jaguars 14

Jets @ Rams Line: LAR -17.0

Again, a huge spread. But it’s the Jets!

Pick: LAR -17.0 Rams 42 Jets 12

Eagles @ Cardinals Line: ARI -6.5

I like the Cardinals in this game. Could be close but they should win by a touchdown. Their defense should be used to going up against a mobile quarterback, they do it every day in practice.

Pick: ARI -6.5 Cardinals 24 Eagles 17

Chiefs @ Saints Line: KC -3.0

Saints are getting a lot of love this game. Brees is back but Thomas is out. I just don’t like this matchup for Brees’ return. Could be kept close but I still think Chiefs should win handsomely.

Pick: KC -3.0 Chiefs 30 Saints 23

Browns @ Giants Line: CLE -6.0

Browns looked great in a loss against a good team last week. One of the hotter teams heading into the playoffs.

Pick: CLE -6.0 Browns 24 Giants 16

Steelers @ Bengals Line: PIT -12.5

Steelers are starting to show their true colors the past couple of weeks. A lot of people now doubting them…I expect a statement game against the Bengals and a back up QB.

Pick: PIT -12.5 Steelers 30 Bengals 13

Pickle Parlay: TB -6.5, TEN -10, GB -8

Good luck!

Pick ‘Em Pickle: NFL Week 14

Texans @ Bears Line: HOU -1.5

Pick: CHI +1.5

Cowboys @ Bengals Line: DAL -3.0

Pick: DAL -3

Chiefs @ Dolphins Line: KC -7.0

Pick: KC -7

Cardinals @ Giants Line: AZ -2.5

Pick: AZ -2.5

Vikings @ Buccaneers Line: TB -7.0

Pick: TB -7

Broncos @ Panthers Line: CAR -4.0

Pick: CAR -4

Titans @ Jaguars Line: TEN -7.5

Pick: JAX +7.5

Colts @ Raiders Line: IND -2.5

Pick: IND -2.5

Jets @ Seahawks Line; SEA -14.5

Pick: NYJ +14.5

Saints @ Eagles Line: NO -7.5

Pick: NO -7.5

Falcons @ Chargers Line: LAC -1.5

Pick: ATL +1.5

Football Team @ 49ers Line: SF -3.0

Pick: SF -3.0

Packers @ Lions Line: GB -8.0

Pick: GB -8

Steelers @ Bills Line: BUF -2.5

Pick: BUF -2.5

Ravens @ Browns Line: BAL -3.0

Pick: CLE +3